With the newsletter deadline looming, I realized I had no willpower to write my monthly article! Why was I having so much trouble getting started? After 12 hours of honest attempts and procrastination, adrenalin kicked in. When that ran low, a bowl of ice cream helped a bit, and then I wondered how long it would take to recover from wasting so much energy trying to “will” myself to complete this task.

My research on willpower answered some of these ponderings. Some of the best information came from this month’s featured book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney. I also was inspired by The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink, and The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science by Norman Doidge

We live in a culture rampant with seductions that lure us, and we are not doing very well resisting. Our American cohort sadly struggles with instant gratification, debt, clutter, hoarding, obesity, drug addiction, screen addiction, pornography, and the list goes on. What’s up?! Do we all have less willpower than previous times? I’ve read somewhere that we spend 25% of our day resisting urges–to sleep, to eat, to take a break, to check emails, to surf the Internet, etc. If we’re not holding our own when it comes to willpower, how can we expect our kids to have self control or the stamina to even get their homework done?

According to recent research, willpower is surely way more complex than we thought.It turns out that willpower:

• Works like a muscle (Really!)
• Can be depleted (I feel it!)
• Runs on glucose (Who knew?)
• Can be replenished (Thank goodness!)

Like a muscle, willpower must be practiced. In one study, people tracked food intake in an effort to eat healthy. Those who kept close track not only ate more mindfully, but their willpower to eat well also spread to other areas: exercise, clutter control, and budgeting. In a similar study, when the subjects monitored “to do” lists successfully and focused on organizing their lives, the willpower also spread to other areas as it did when subjects closely monitored their money. In short, research shows that practicing our willpower “muscle” in one area strengthens our willpower in other areas.

Just as a muscle can get tired and sore, so, too, can willpower become fatigued and even be depleted. Social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister challenged students with tasks that required impulse-control such as resisting cookies when hungry, watching a boring display instead of a comedy video, or not feeling emotions while watching a very emotional movie. After each of the willpower-draining activities, subjects did poorly on subsequent tasks such as solving a
difficult puzzle and squeezing a handgrip. His research suggests that willpower “juice” can run out. This shows, when it comes to exerting self control, there is a finite store of energy.

Because we all want to have willpower when we need it, we need to know what causes willpower fatigue or depletion. There are a variety of causes:

• Low glucose leads to low willpower. Scientists have discovered that willpower actually runs on glucose, a chemical in the blood stream. For this reason, forget diets! You need glucose to have the willpower to stay on a diet, and diets, by their very nature, deplete glucose stores. In 2007, Baumeister studied the impact of pleasure on willpower (aka “the Mardi Gras Effect”–that pleasure makes Lent easier). The assumption was that a milkshake (pleasure) would boost willpower tasks better than a tasteless glucose glob (no pleasure). But the results showed no difference; both led to an increase in willpower tasks. Further research showing that sugarless lemonade did not impact willpower reinforced the fact it was the glucose that mattered.
• Sleep deprivation depletes willpower, perhaps even more than low glucose.
• Being sick depletes glucose which depletes willpower. Chronic pain is a slow drain, too.
• Controlling emotions and thoughts deplete willpower. Think parenting every single day or the academic and social challenges a kid faces daily at school.
• Stress depletes willpower. With the tendency to lose control of emotions in this state, conflicts can arise.
• Making decisions fatigues willpower, especially if the decision is for yourself or if the decision is about something you won’t enjoy.
• Undones deplete your willpower, too. Once you put a task out there and don’t do it, the task will keep popping into your mind until you either do it or make a plan to do it.
• Too many goals (New Year’s resolutions) compete with each other for your limited willpower resources and leave you so drained you might need . . . a cupcake. Leaving too many options open also can deplete your willpower resources and lead to worry, angst, and stress.
• Clutter and messy rooms/desks impact willpower.
• Lack of autonomy is a willpower breaker. In yet another study, students sat near freshly baked cookies and then were asked to complete willpower tasks. Group A was asked, “Please not eat the cookies today. Is that okay? We are measuring the ability to resist temptation.” Group B was told, “Do not eat the cookies.” Group A did better on the willpower tasks. It turns out that autonomy is top on the list of what motivates us to do our work well, according to Daniel Pink. Other motivators include mastery and purpose, especially if thinking or creativity is required.

We are most vulnerable when our willpower is depleted. With depleted willpower (low glucose), we easily give in to any kind of temptation, especially anything with sugar, but also consider drinking and drugs. It is no wonder stores put candy and soda near the check-out stand. Also, our emotions get amplified when our willpower tank is empty. Think about taking your child to a store after spending a full day at school. What’s the experience like? Not pleasant, I’ll bet. Planning strategies in advance, like having healthy snacks ready in the car at pick-up time, can avoid low willpower states and make the difference between a fun outing and a fiasco.
We can replenish and strengthen our willpower. Thank goodness, but how?

• Sleep. Enough said!
• Eat: Sweets, white bread, potatoes (ice cream) will ramp up willpower fast–then take you down again when the glucose wears out. Foods with a low glycemic index (nuts, fruits, and veggies) will give you a slower but longer boost.
• Plan out decisions ahead of time, so you don’t have so many at once. This will help to keep your willpower steady.
• Focus on one goal at a time and your success rate goes up, because each goal demands willpower juice. Get rid of options you don’t need and goals that compete with each other.
• Monitor your progress. (People who keep food diaries lose more weight.)
• Do one thing and only one thing at a time.
• Devote time in the morning (without interruptions) to your most important goal. (Perhaps mornings are a good time for piano practice.)
• Keep desks and rooms organized. (I love the reward of a clean kitchen to start the day so much that I am disciplined about cleaning up before I go to bed, even when I’m exhausted.)
• Use “Positive Procrastination”: Substitute “I can have it later” for “No. I can’t have that.” It helps to ease the craving and subsequent willpower depletion of resisting. Often you’ll end up forgetting about what you originally wanted.

At this time of the school year, there’s a lot going on for our kids. We need to be mindful of not only our willpower levels and what’s affecting us, but also their willpower levels and what’s affecting them. Be sure they get enough sleep, are eating well, are taking one thing at a time, have an organized, clutter-free area to work and play, are learning organization and prioritizing skills, and they’ll be OK. They’ll make it through their busy days—and so will you—with willpower to spare.

With admiration for all you do,

Dr. Kathy

P.S. If you want to hear Roy Baumeister himself talk about his research, click here.