Give yourself a big gift this holiday. Maybe one of the biggest yet. Give yourself the gift of accepting yourself as a good parent. With this gift to yourself, you will experience self-love, freedom from guilt, and have fun doing it. You know you strive so hard to be the best you can be, wanting to support and nurture your kids so they can grow to be happy, self-sufficient, and connected to who and what they love.
When I was raising kids, my middle initial was “E,” for efficiency. My strategy was streamlining ______ (grocery shopping, morning routine, getting the dishes done, etc.), so I could do the next thing on the list. Sometimes, while reading bedtime stories, I was so exhausted, I would even grab several pages at once to skip though the book faster (until my kids caught on).
If you find your middle initial is “E” for efficiency or “B” for busy, you might relate to this, especially over the “busy holidays,” as we call them. What if, instead, we embraced a new initial: “I” for intimacy or “B” for balanced? What if–rather than fighting through meals, homework, carpooling, errands–we just decided to “chill” and really, truly enjoy the ride.
What if it were possible to apply “no regrets” to parenting? In the past, we have introduced you to some awesome resources on applying this idea–such as Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. Another fantastic resource is our current featured book No Regrets Parenting: Turning Long Days and Short Years into Cherished Moments with Your Kids by Harley A. Rotbart, MD. It helps parents “turn minutes of your day into moments of your lives.”
No Regrets Parenting is a gold mine of tips to bring meaningful moments into everyday parenting. One parent finds she “makes a point of holding hands with my kids more often.” Another says, “I focus on the time I do have with my kids rather than the time I don’t have.” Another said she started measuring her day by number of “hugs, smiles, laughs, cozy, warmth, fun.” There is even a section for “College and Beyond.” Not too late to start wherever you are.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if next time you are asked, “How are you?” instead of saying, “I am so busy,” you can respond, “I am doing great, enjoying being with my kids, and taking time to smell the Christmas tree”!
Happy Holidays to you and yours,
Dr. Kathy
Hi! I’m Dr. Kathy. Welcome to my website! Although Family Empowerment Network is formally closed, we want to keep these resources available to you. Our belief is that parents are the most wise and intuitive about what is best for their children. However, parents sometimes need the support of effective, timeless, compassionate parenting information and strategies. On this website you will find our three parenting books on boys, girls, and kids’ social lives and ten years of monthly newsletter articles. In addition, a powerful, under-recognized resource is the support of other parents. Here you will find how to use our books as discussion guides for monthly self-led parenting groups. One last resource: I am still available to give talks and workshops.
