Take Care of You
Erica noticed that last week she was calm and connected with her kids. This week it seems everything is driving her crazy and she feels like a raving maniac, yelling at her kids about everything.
Discussion:
What is it about parenting that makes it feel like such a roller coaster?
I say there are two big influences.
- One is putting everyone else first and getting so run down it feels like screaming is the only option.
- The second is the tendency to oscillate back and forth between being friendly and loose with the rules (permissive) until our kids push us to the brink. Then we become the drill-sergeant of rules and regulations (strict) to let our kids know we REALLY mean business.
The second influence here is big. We all want to have fun and ease in our parenting … if those kids would just cooperate. In the family chaos, as we are barking out the “rules and regulations” orders, we are exhausted. There has got to be a better way.
What I have found in my own parenting and as a parent coach, is that NOTHING productive can happen when I don’t take care of myself. When I live my life reacting to what happens, I am at the mercy of other people and situations that I have no control over. When I live my life proactively, I take care of myself first so I have the energy to plan ahead and set up systems for homework, chores, family meals, and extra-curricular activities that work for everyone.
How do you start?
First- decide that YOU do matter and taking care of you in important. That is by far the most important step. Then think about what would nurture you the most.
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If I knew then what I know now,
I would have scheduled “me time” on my crowded calendar.
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What are your tips?
Send in your ideas on how us busy parents can carve out time for ourselves.
We’ll share them next week.
Hi! I’m Dr. Kathy. Welcome to my website! Although Family Empowerment Network is formally closed, we want to keep these resources available to you. Our belief is that parents are the most wise and intuitive about what is best for their children. However, parents sometimes need the support of effective, timeless, compassionate parenting information and strategies. On this website you will find our three parenting books on boys, girls, and kids’ social lives and ten years of monthly newsletter articles. In addition, a powerful, under-recognized resource is the support of other parents. Here you will find how to use our books as discussion guides for monthly self-led parenting groups. One last resource: I am still available to give talks and workshops.
