How Much to Help Your Child

“My child wants me to be with her every time she studies.  Then she wants my constant input and help.  Sometimes it is so time-consuming to help her on every problem, I find myself just doing part of it for her.  Plus I have so much to do around the house.  Am I helping or hurting?”

OR

“Studying each night in our home has become a war zone.  The kids want our help, but when we do they just get mad at us.  I also have to hassle them to get off the phone or away from the TV.  They argue that they study better in front of the TV.  It’s making me crazy and I’m about to give up entirely.”

Discussion
Nowadays, competition seems so great we start to believe our kids can’t make it without us.  “How much is too much?” can be difficult to decide.  One clear guiding principal is that the more and sooner you empower them to handle their school challenges, the more they will step up to the challenge.

A fantastic private school I know encourages parents to allow their kids to be responsible for their homework starting in the third grade, when the consequences of failure are small. They ask parents to slowly back off managing every phase of homework.  My friend, Sue Wellman, a high school teacher and founder of The Ophelia Project, and I share these ideas: [Read more…]