Screen-Free Week (formerly TV-Turnoff) approaches, April 29-May 5, we all have the perfect opportunity to reflect on the impact of our family screen time—and to choose: Participate or not participate? Don’t panic. The Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood, organizer of this national effort to “turn off screens and turn on life,” isn’t asking you to stop using your computer for work or to stop talking on your phone. The goal of the week is to power down screens used for entertainment, so you’ll have more time to do other things such as play outside and read.

I’m all for giving it a try—and here’s just one of many reasons why: The more we learn about interpersonal neurobiology and how the brain works, the more evidence there is that we become less capable socially if we spend too much time in front of screens. This is especially true for our children, whose brains are still in the process of being developed. All the ins and outs of how dramatically media use can affect the pathways in brains are yet to be discovered, but here is some scary evidence:

• University of Washington pediatrician Dimitri Christakis shares his research in a TEDxRainier talk called “Media and Children.” He states that every hour per day a child under three watches TV increases that child’s chance of having attentional deficits by 10% (no matter what the quality of programming). With the brain pathways being laid during a child’s first thousand days of development, these attentional deficits are irreversible and will impact the child’s social and emotional skills throughout his/her life.
• Stanford psychologist Philip G. Zimbardo delves into another frightening phenomenon related to digital use: He points out that boys start watching pornography as young as age 10, that the average American high school boy spends two hours each week watching porn, and that it can lead to “arousal addictions.” To further underscore the consequences of pornography addiction, a 2011 study showed that, over time, pornography addiction can lead to erectile dysfunction—a dramatic example of the brain’s rewiring due to the overuse/abuse of media. For further exploration of this important topic, check out Gary Wilson’s TED talk on the Great Porn Experiment or Philip Zimbardo’s TED talk.

Whether it’s watching TV shows, cartoons, or movies, playing games, engaging in social networking, or just surfing the Internet, screen use for entertainment is likely changing who our children will become. In that light, I recommend being vigilant about the quantity and quality of what they’re seeing and doing. Here are a few tips to consider as you contemplate your family screen time:


Be careful what you let in.

Buddha said, “The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” What if this quote were true, that “You are what you think”? If you watch Bart put down his dumb dad every day, how do you treat your own dad? If you watch “Power Rangers” regularly, dress up and “play fight” with your friends as a Ranger, and write stories about Power Rangers for school, how do you handle real-life conflict? In contrast, if you watch Mr. Rogers patiently teach you about the ways of the farm, the family, a restaurant, or how to treat others, do you develop patience and tolerance and learn how to get along in the world? And, think about the nightly news. Does it inspire you to be a better person and help others?

Choose your media as carefully as you choose your friends.

I first heard these words from Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia. She shared the irony that we keep our kids inside, afraid of the strangers at the park, yet plop them down in front of the television and let all kinds of unseemly characters into their absorbing minds–from violent cartoon villains, to snarky “cool” kids, to Disney princesses needing to be rescued.

It’s harder to change a bad habit than it is to keep a good one.

Screen-Free Week is a good time to start cutting back on screen time and then carrying over the new healthy habits into an outdoor summer. The Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood has a free, comprehensive Screen-Free Week Organizer’s Kit available for download on its Web site. It’s filled with suggested activities, fact sheets about the impact of screens on our lives, sample promotion materials, and much more. If you’re inclined to acknowledge the week in a more low-key way, have a family meeting to brainstorm what you would like to be doing more of as a family, especially physical and/or creative activities. Once you have the list, make a family plan to do the activities; you’ll find that you need to cut back on screen use to make the activities happen.

Moderation is the key.

I would never in a million years ask you to give up chocolate completely. Same thing with TV and movies and playing video games. As with chocolate, the key is moderation: Every once in a while is OK, but too much is not. Unfortunately, the average American watches more than four hours of screen entertainment per day. That seems like a lot of “connecting” time given over to media. Doreen Dodgen-Magee, Ph.D., examines our digital dilemma in her article, “The Key to Surviving the Negative Impact of Digital Technology: Moderation,” and she offers a lot of food for thought. For a few other ways to keep digital entertainment in check, consider these suggestions:

• Keep the TV and computer out of the bedroom.
• If your kids are under 10, think about limiting screen entertainment to weekends. Weekdays are complicated enough with homework, sports, music, dance, gymnastics, etc.
• If your kids are a little older, come to a mutual agreement about the quantity and quality of their screen use—even to the point of their writing out and signing the agreement. Build in consequences for not following the agreement.
• If your family watches TV shows and movies and plays video games, choose wisely. Organizations such as Common Sense Media provides reviews and recommendations for age-appropriate TV shows, movies, music, games, apps, etc.

Because our children are digital “natives” with the Internet and digital devices available 24/7–unlike any generation before them–we need to mindfully make choices and cultivate in them the inner wisdom that will allow them to master the art of social connection in this challenging Digital Age. Our forthcoming book, Face to Face: Cultivating Kids’ Social Lives in Today’s Digital World, will give you the tools and encouragement to address this critical new parenting dilemma. In the meantime, ask your family: Are we playing outside more than we’re playing video games? Are TV shows and movies we watch influencing us positively and inspiring us? Do we have enough quality “connecting” time? If each of you can answer yes to the above, you’re on the right track and your children will thrive. If you can’t answer yes to the questions, it may be time to step up and power down.

With admiration for all you do,

Dr. Kathy

P.S. For inspiration, check out The Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood’s “101 Screen-Free Activities.”