Part 8 of 12—Raising Our Sons and Daughters Takes a Village

A caring neighborhood can provide community and a safety net.

“When Mary Pipher was a little girls she picked lilacs from Mr. Green’s yard. He caught her and called her dad. Her dad asked her to apologize to Mr. Green. Everywhere she went for the next few weeks, people would say, “I heard you stole lilacs from Mr. Green’s yard. Mary never stole anything again the rest of her life. Now here is story #2, kids steal flowers from Mr. Brown’s yard. He comes out and yells at the kids but he doesn’t know who they. The kids cuss back and run off laughing. Mr. Brown hates kids and the kids hate him. He never votes “yes” for a school bond from then on. em>

Discussion:
In Mary Pipher’s day people knew their neighbors and they watched out for each other. People sometimes lived their whole lives in the house they were born. They certainly didn’t move every 3-5 years, like today. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all of us could say, “I feel safe, cared for, and connected in my neighborhood.” In Mary Pipher’s neighborhood, they had:

• community: where people cared and helped each other in hard times.
• zone of safety where kids could freely play and walk to the Five and Dime.
• connection where there was always someone sitting on their front porch waiting for a chat.

There was the problem of getting one’s nose in other people’s business, but the benefits far outweighed the negatives.

The second story is a problem complicated by not knowing a name. If Mr. Brown lived in a connected neighborhood, he would have known the names of the kids and been able to tell the parents. The kids would have learned accountability and respect for other people’s property. Instead nothing was learned except maybe, “vandalism is fun.”

There are literally hundreds of ways to build community in your neighborhood: street parties and potluck meals regularly where everyone hangs out while the kids play. Having an open attitude of borrowing sugar, eggs, and the lawnmower or sharing emails with any neighborhood thefts or the latest on city policies that affect your neighborhood can be connecting.

In our neighborhood, we created a wonderful event around May Day, that really cements our commitment to each other. It involves

• Updating the Neighborhood Roster, including current emails and cell phones for emergencies.
• Creating a Photo Collages of all the kids in the neighborhood, with their grade and school. Then everyone can identify the kids of the neighborhood and know where they live. The elderly neighbors particularly love this information. They can reach out to the kids easier and are more comfortable with them, The kids in turn feel safer and more willing to go to these neighbors if they are afraid or need help.
• Inviting all the neighbor kids over on May Day to eat snacks while they build May Day Baskets made of paper cones filled with of flowers. Then they deliver the baskets on each neighbor’s doorstep along with a rolled up roster/photo collage.
• Everyone attending the annual Spring Potluck to get reunited as we are more outdoors for summer/fall.

What do you do in your neighborhood to build connection and closeness?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
If I knew then what I know now,
I would have had been friendlier to the neighbor kids to be sure they felt safe to come to me if they needed to.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *