Part 2 of 5—Creating a Meaningful Holiday Season

December 11, 2009 by

Happy Hanukkah!

TAKING THE FOCUS OFF PRESENTS

“Diana knew gift giving had gotten completely out-of-control when her 12-year-old gave her a list of 20 items she wanted, complete with brand names and prices listed in descending $$ order. With a tight budget, she was worried about how disappointed her kids would be when they opened their gifts this year.”

Discussion:
This is a common dilemma for parents. They want their kids to be happy and to have a wonderful, fun holiday. Americans spent $460 billion in 2008 “buying” holiday happiness. Did it work? In the frenzy of gift opening, our children lose the simple and grateful experience of giving and receiving. Come January, many parents find the kids are not happier and are now discontent, longing for toys their friends got. Plus they may have gone into debt beyond their means. To top it off, parents may be passing on a spend-debt tradition to future generations.

If you are ready to start taking the focus off presents, here are some ideas to consider:

  • Reduce the number of gifts (irrespective of what’s happening in other homes in your neighborhood).
  • Stick to a budget: decide how much you will spend. Create an envelope with the cash you want to spend for each person. When the envelope is empty, STOP.
  • Limit the amount you give each child to spend on siblings … say, $25.
  • Start a gift exchange with your extended family so there is time to focus on one quality, thoughtful gift.
  • Cut out gift-giving with the adults in the extended family and just give to the kids.
  • Establish a “no electronics” gift policy over the holidays. They tend to be expensive and to isolate kids when they go off to play with them. The brain is much better stimulated by reading than it is by electronics. Be sure each child on your list receives at least one book.
  • Choose toys and games that are consistent with your values on non-violence. Violence pervades our lives these days, and all of us, including our children, are becoming increasingly numb to it. Use the same reasoning for TV shows and movies you allow your children to watch.

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    If I knew then what I know now, I would have limited the volume and expense of presents when my kids were very young.
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    With admiration for all you do,

    Dr. Kathy

    Kathy Masarie, MD
    Pediatrician, Parent, and Life Coach
    Author of Raising Our Daughters and Raising Our Sons

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