THE BAD
Stress, worry, and anxiety can be paralyzing. They can lead to insomnia, food disorders (too much and too little), and depression. They can interfere with your work, your learning, your fun, and even your relationships.

The stress that comes with procrastination also can blow up on you. One of my favorite behaviors is procrastination. I say “favorite,” because I keep doing it over and over–so I must get something out of it. I think I value the energy surge I get after procrastination, when deadlines hit. With the panic of the deadline, adrenalin flows and I get the job done. But then there’s a long-term problem: I feel exhausted afterward and am not good for anything but vegging out. Then the next deadline hits, and I rev up again. Don’t always make it. Sloppy job. Maybe I spread my pain to people around me and scream to be rescued. It has been known to happen.

THE UGLY
A lot of stress is deadly, literally, as in die or suffer severe complications. You could stroke out, have a heart attack, commit suicide, burst an ulcer right through the stomach lining, get addicted to drugs or alcohol. . . .

SO, WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?
Give yourself, your partner and your kids a gift: LIVE! Live a full and healthy life. Exercise, eat well, take care of yourself, have fun. Then you won’t don’t die or stroke out before your time. What’s the trick, you ask?

• Deal with your stress now. Take your stress as a signal that things are not working out the way you want. Come up with concrete steps to act differently, think differently. Once you take a few steps, you will feel better and have more energy to continue to move forward with changing your life for the better.
• Stop modeling stress and anxiety as everyday reactions to life’s big and little problems.
• Exercise. It’s the best quick impact for life free from stress; endorphins are like an antidote.

To delve deeper into managing your stress, be sure to check out our “emPOWER TOOL” this month, Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide for Teens (and us). Here are some of the tips offered:

• Weave a safety net of support of friends and loved ones, people who love you unconditionally. (Starting or joining a Raising Our Daughters/Sons parent discussion group is a great way to create a “village” or safety net.)
• Take charge of your life. Because no one can control you and you can’t control anyone else, if you are not happy about it, do something about it! Be assertive and ask for what you want.
• Check out your “shoulds.” Are you a perfectionist and imposing a big dose of grandiose expectations on yourself and others with the constant stress of disappointment? I say chuck “should” out of your vocabulary!
• Laugh and play. Try the lighter side of life. Dr. Fry from Stanford researches humor and says, “Humor protects us from the destruction of negative emotions.” Watch funny movies. Hang out with funny friends.

Dale Carnegie also wrote a great book about stress and worry that’s worth having on your bookshelf: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: Time Tested Methods for Conquering Worry. In fact, if you consider yourself an anxious person, this may be the best $14 you’ll ever spend! Carnegie tells us:

• Catch it early.
• Don’t fuss over little things. Carnegie says, ”Don’t let the mere termites of life ruin your happiness.”
• Be concerned about problems but not worried. If you are concerned, you take steps to be sure you minimize bad outcomes. Worry just works you up into a frenzy that takes your energy away from solving the problem.
• Break the worry habit. Kind of like how to quit smoking: Set aside certain times of the day when you will worry. When it is not that time, write it down and save it for later.
• Analyze a big worry: 1. Get the facts. 2. Analyze the facts. 3. Arrive at a solution, a decision. 4. Act on that decision. End of story.
• “Our lives are what our thoughts make it.” Steer your thoughts toward a good life that you love.

Byron Katie’s Loving What Is also has a great process to address worries, especially those future disaster stories we make up and then worry about. Although the book is fantastic, to get a sneak peak at Katie’s work, download her free booklet.

My last suggestion to minimize stress and maximize living comes from my current book club read, Buddha’s Brain: “Happiness is taking action now!”

Here’s to taking action now!

Dr. Kathy