Finding a caring school environment.
“Mary volunteered regularly in the classroom all through grade school where she was able to be helpful and connected to the teachers, classmates and school climate. Now that both her kids are in middle school, the teachers don’t have activities for her to be helpful in classroom so she feels disconnected and can’t assess how her kids are doing as well.”
Discussion:
When you think about your school experience growing up, what would you say were the most important take-aways? Having a teacher that really believed in you, getting involved in an extra-curricular activity that made your heart sing, a time you really had good friends, and eventually when you developed a love of learning? Now think about what your parents focused on: homework, homework and homework and were you “good” (as in obedient; not hearing from the principal).
Now let’s look at what the research shows about school and long-term, well-being of our kids. First the JAMA study from the blog on February 5 shows that a “caring school climate” is number two in importance for our teens avoiding risky behaviors (after being connected to your parents). Another resource is what Developmental Assets are important. I was impressed with the variety and sheer number of ways school is important.
…………………………..DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS…………………………
SUPPORT
- Caring school climate – School provides a caring, encouraging environment.
- Parent involvement in schooling – Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
EMPOWERMENT
- Community values youth – Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth.
- Youth as resources – Young people are given useful roles in the community.
- Safety – Young person feels safe at home, school, and in the neighborhood.
CLEAR BOUNDARIES AND EXPECTATIONS
- School boundaries – School provides clear rules and consequences.
- Adult role models – Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.
- Positive peer influence – Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior.
- High expectations – Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
- Creative activities – Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts.
COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
- Achievement motivation – Young person is motivated to do well in school.
- School engagement – Young person is actively engaged in learning.
- Homework – Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day.
- Bonding to school – Young person cares about her or his school.
- Reading for Pleasure – Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
Finding a nurturing environment is clearly important. When a kid feels accepted, appreciated, and engaged with school activities, it makes sense that it is easier for them to then find learning fun and be committed to it. I know when I was growing up; the focus on homework and grades over my experience of learning and connection at school was backward in my opinion.
Most of these assets are present in a “school village” that cares about the whole kid and makes it fun to learn. What can we do to promote these qualities? In addition to the list below, is my 5 part blog series in November, 2009 on “Supporting School Success.”
Value learning and show it
- Know the teachers and communicate regularly. Let your kids know you talked.
- Support their child to be ready for school each day (sleep, meals, homework).
- Model learning in everyday life by reading, taking classes, going to seminars …
- Encourage a Parent-Resource Committee on the PTA whose function is to bring educational materials to parent by buying parent books for the parent section of the library and bringing speakers for an evening seminar or staff training.
Be involved: There are many ways parents can be involved with school activities
- Volunteer in the classroom.
- Be involved with PTA, even if you do activities from home, like baking or phone calls.
- Start an after-school club as an alternative to classroom volunteering.
Evaluate the goodness of fit of your child in their school: A caring school climate is so important; it is worth ongoing monitoring and adjusting,
- If a program you kid loves is cut, find a way to replace it or substitute it elsewhere.
- If there is fighting and bullying on the playground, work with the school on developing a program that addresses that.
- Stay connected with the teacher, counselor, principal, PTA and others involved in the school.
- Catch problems early.
Create Safe Havens: Creating safe spaces at school where our kids can be themselves is so important we are elaborating on it next week.
What are the “safe spaces” at school that you had growing up? Send them to us and we will include them on our list.
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If I knew then what I know now,
I would have sought learning environments that fit my kids rather than push my kids to fit in.
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Hi! I’m Dr. Kathy. Welcome to my website! Although Family Empowerment Network is formally closed, we want to keep these resources available to you. Our belief is that parents are the most wise and intuitive about what is best for their children. However, parents sometimes need the support of effective, timeless, compassionate parenting information and strategies. On this website you will find our three parenting books on boys, girls, and kids’ social lives and ten years of monthly newsletter articles. In addition, a powerful, under-recognized resource is the support of other parents. Here you will find how to use our books as discussion guides for monthly self-led parenting groups. One last resource: I am still available to give talks and workshops.
