Take Back the Summer with Your Family

Your Family Can Spend This Summer Connecting More

Last summer seemed so hectic, with kid’s camps and sport teams. And the kids were constantly fighting to watch more TV.

Discussion:

Join in on a “Take Back the Summer” campaign to leave our busy lives at bay for a few weeks, soak up the warm summer rays and just “chill with our kids.” Do what they want. Do what you want. Be flexible.. You can do this in your family or even involve your whole neighborhood. The common goal is to create a sense of community awareness among people who want to regain control of their own lives, homes, neighborhoods and culture.

Think about it.

  • What if we decided to make Sunday afternoon family time with no lawn mowing or chores? We decide together what we will do.
  • What if we decided on something as simple as turning off the television one night a week and playing family games instead?
  • What if this year, nobody worries about how we look in a swimsuit and instead decides to have fun? What freedom!
  • Maybe one night a week the neighborhood children play groups games together.
  • What if the whole family did a volunteer project together?
  • How about a neighborhood block party where not only families with children are invited, but all generations participate? At one 4th of July party, everyone brings their own utensils, drinks, meat to barbecue, and a salad or dessert to share and it takes the burden completely off the hosts so it is equally fun for everyone.

In the end it might not have worked as you intended, the important things is that we take a step. Just taking the time to think of what we might do is an incredibly important step and not always easy in the fast-paced life we lead. Sharing this with our friends and neighbors makes it more fun, and more importantly, it allows the feeling of empowerment to grow. We can make a difference!

We all yearn to be together more, to relax more and to have more fun together. Seeing our children play outside rather than watch television strikes a chord in all of us. Actions like these can give us power and hope. They can encourage us to take bigger steps toward reclaiming our families and our lives.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
If I knew then what I know now,
I would have played more in the summers.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Nickelodeon gives us the Worst Toy of the Year

Worst Toy of the Year Award goes to Nickelodeans’s AddictingGames.com

Caroline and Tom are very involved in monitoring what their kids watch on TV and have always felt safe with Nickelodeon. Now they are not so sure with Nickelodeon’s AddictingGames.com winning the “worst toy of the year award.”

Discussion:
There is a wonderful organization following the exploitation of the media on our kids and it is CCFC, the Campaign Commercial Free Childhood. I get their informative newsletter. Recently they had a contest to all their subscribers on the TOADY (Toys Oppressive And Destructive to Young Children) Award. The over-riding winner was Nickelodeon’s AddictingGames.com.

Here is what they say:

“Inspired by Nickelodeon’s blatant disregard for children’s well-being, you [subscribers] overwhelmingly chose AddictingGames.com as this year’s winner of CCFC’s TOADY (Toys Oppressive And Destructive to Young Children) Award for the worst toy of the year. With an astounding 64% of the vote, AddictingGames.com easily outpaced its TOADY rivals: The Little Tykes Young Explorer (18%), the BARBIE DOLL’D UP NAILS Digital Nail Printer (8%), the EyeClops Mini Projector (5%) and the Halo United Nations Space Command Turret (5%).

Nickelodeon’s decision to exploit its reputation as a family-friendly company by linking to the games directly from its popular websites for young children earned AddictingGames.com the award for worst of the worst. TOADY voters were aghast that Nick allows children access through .AddictingGames.com to:

  • Perry the Sneak series, where gamers take the role of a peeping Tom trying to catch revealing glimpses of naked women showering–and successful voyeurs are rewarded by getting in bed with their prey
  • Stick Dude Killing Arena, the object of which is to “Train to Kill Until You Die”
  • Kitty Cannon, where players can “make Fluffy bloody” by shooting a kitten out of a cannon onto a row of metal spikes

The fact that the games are free, making them accessible to any child with Internet access, was another reason voters frequently gave for why AddictingGames.com got their TOADY vote.

Since December, more than 4,000 parents have written to Nickelodeon to demand that the children’s media empire remove the links to AddictingGames.com from Nick.com, NickJr.com and Neopets.com. But Nickelodeon refuses to grant parents even this simple courtesy.

If you haven’t already, please tell Nickelodeon to stop promoting Addicting Games to children. Please share this campaign with friends and family by clicking here. Let’s let everyone know that truly disturbing content is only a click away on Nick’s websites for children.”

In admiration for all you do,
Kathy

Part 12 of 12—Raising Our Sons and Daughters Takes a Village

Deep and meaningful connections with extended family and friends: the glue that holds it all together.

“Joe and Sally did not have close family nearby, so they were delighted when a neighbor started a monthly parent and kid gathering. First the families all ate together. Then the kids played outside or in the game room while the parents chatted openly about monthly themes on the challenges of raising kids. Now Joe and Sally feel like they have “family” who care about them right in their neighborhood. “

Discussion:
Over the last two months we have explored many villages in the life of a family. Each of them can support our kids and our family in different ways. What is critical for these villages is to have close connections: people with whom we can be open, honest, and authentic and who accept and support us with unconditional love. What separates a village that just becomes another place to drive your kids to from a village that actually holds us dearly are these close connections. Close loved ones, both friends and extended family, are the glue that makes a village meaningful.

How does one build close, meaningful connections with other parents? It is wonderful to hang out on the sidelines of a sports game and chat with parents or to hang out together at the school carnival. This can be relaxing and fun. How does a parent take it deeper? I believe getting together with other parents monthly focusing on the goal of supporting each other in our parenting it the single best way for us to be really open and honest about our struggles, to share what works and doesn’t work, and to explore new ideas to try. With these real discussions, each parent will not only connect with other parents, they will connect with each other’s kids as we share our stories. The next time we see that child in the school hallway, we naturally reach out and connect with them more deeply, becoming another set of caring eyes “making sure he/she turns out OK.” If a serious or troubling issue arises, there is built in support for you and your family through the tough times. When problems are addressed early, they can be managed with the help of extended family and friends and occasional help from professionals. If we let problems grow too large, the intervention needed and pain experienced by both parents and kids is so much bigger. With this support each of us can be become more effective, confident, and competent in our parenting.

The themes of these monthly meetings can be:

  • Topics that each parent volunteers to lead.
  • Monthly parent book club, selecting different parenting books or a few chapters from that book.
  • Webinars or videos that each parent takes turn finding on line or renting from the library.
  • Raising Our Daughters and Raising Our Sons Parenting Guides can be used as resource material for parent discussion groups. There are many ideas for strengthening each of our villages in every one of the ten chapters.

Your group can commit to: “Together my parent group can influence all the villages.” You can:

  • Organize a Girls Night Out and then a Boys Night Out for the incoming sixth graders at a middle school. The kids come for an evening of fun planned by the kids and then break up into small groups, lead by local high school teens, for real discussions about friendship, cliques, and the challenges of middle school.
  • Address alcohol use by hosting a “Not My Kid” presentation, sending a Safe Party Guideline to every family in the high school, and putting a star by every family that agrees to follow the guidelines in the school roster
  • Start a mother-daughter group that met every other month while the parents continued the Raising Our Daughter book every other month
  • Promote the 40 Developmental Assets in your community which involved school, church, non-profits, and city government.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
If I knew then what I know now,
I would have directed ALL of my energy toward the goal: “My family is supported by a tight-knit group of people who unconditionally love us.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What was your biggest take-away?
What action step do you plan to take?
What additional questions do you have about this topic?

Welcome to the Family Empowerment Network Blog

Hello! Parents and Guardians

This is my first blog entry.  I think a good place to start is to share that my life’s focus has been my passion for supporting families to be healthy and thrive.  What I have witnessed as a pediatrician is that parents generally try very hard to be good parents, yet are still unsure of themselves.  I learned that a little information can go a long way if it is given early enough.  So much energy is saved when serious problems are prevented.

I have devoted all my energy to exploring what works to prevent problems while raising children and I enjoy sharing what I have learned.  I have loved kids and working with families all my life–starting with teaching swim lessons as a teen, becoming a pediatrician and then a parent, starting a non-profit organization to support families, and finally becoming a life coach.  My latest project is writing two books for parents–Raising Our Daughters: The Ultimate Guide to Healthy Daughters and Thriving Families and Raising Our Sons: The Ultimate Guide to Healthy Sons and Strong Families.  These books contain the best of what I have learned so far.

In this blog I look forward to sharing information with you, a small amount at a time.  I’ll be addressing common issues you and other parents struggle with.

With admiration for all you do,

Dr. Kathy

Kathy Masarie, MD
Pediatrician, Parent and Life Coach
Author of the Parenting Guides Raising Our Daughters and Raising Our Sons

Join www.family-empower.com for on-going support in your parenting.